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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
! d0 T6 E! I {9 O
7 o$ |3 a7 Y: p/ O/ ]0 O0 ?. ]2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
$ T# E# U. e% P! u, f! Q! h+ s' h+ a
男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”, q: `7 B c+ J0 z
k% ?$ i0 u& W3 Y* n3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。
9 w, Y' M2 E" W2 O, j4 H( F) @ Z. H! G( J F8 S* \
老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。, q9 m# }& X; a; @8 }9 K
/ U5 ^9 L* s# j# O女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。9 `* {$ B3 s4 G$ V( e
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笑死我了。。。3 ]1 j; u$ B# A
" s) L7 {, B( ]4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,
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- u! \+ e X1 k, Y1 _3 D可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,3 j" r- N" v( H; K( }/ a, H& @
+ u" I3 {# B9 Z我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!* m8 F0 z' H4 C% r' W% d) f" ^) w
% T6 A* m$ g) `3 d她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!0 C$ o5 \+ c" ]
9 i+ r( U% @' v- {晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”1 R1 v$ l+ A) T: I5 J7 e) E4 P- U
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恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,6 u+ h) M. v' [' M' ]
7 g/ o t1 H7 {8 d就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”
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" j1 T1 r$ @! K l% U* ~) ~孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
9 p: o8 p% y* ]) O$ L( K l9 J& ~ H3 C9 c4 {( k- B
5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,
6 ] S4 Z; c6 x" j( G! S
% t/ Q% `# z. ~+ n# ?我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!3 {2 B9 e# g; t% Q
( F% w3 U- Y$ g( k一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。. r5 D; |+ z8 ^3 @
, j, N5 r B, ~3 T当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?
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- k1 `" T/ K5 {我,无业闲人一个。7 G' |/ v% p( @+ a
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女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?. D3 Y4 B% ]0 r; v9 _+ d" K" {8 M# G
3 v' E/ @0 T* @, s我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。3 A8 J7 z, t- U- Z' |7 n
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女:滚她妈犊子,滚…6 Y( `4 y0 [6 Y5 x! `$ p0 [! P6 c8 o
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当前离线
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