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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！” R, c' p: r z
# w, O& ?1 }3 [) g, H2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”0 _7 e' q3 M2 [, L5 t
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”. E! \, Z! j* F% K
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。/ P( F+ f9 x2 `: i; M
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。2 }* H% x8 c& m m% h' T
: J& B8 ]! h2 ^, m女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。5 c; c* E N2 h
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，, G- ` x! h+ f4 S& z# l; \* O
& n6 {# s' B3 H [& A我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!( r1 n- M5 V5 g) T1 g
2 o& {2 ~8 `0 B3 ?" \* I
晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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# w, M! `) f/ l; j" P# @4 |& A恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，3 B+ S. l" J7 k9 X' X3 R/ U
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”# S( C9 `* G9 W" F$ l
* X& ?2 Q3 L: Y! [3 { a孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…- p3 g$ |- S1 q2 Z6 k8 ?4 ~* Q
: y/ @$ O1 l7 N$ F9 H3 a5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，1 r" ~; g6 o% J% T% @; `
2 |! f7 T4 o5 @2 j- {我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！( e1 k4 }- U6 V; P' P
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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" a8 M7 Z. v- M1 u当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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我，无业闲人一个。
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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9 [* C& b# z* k. Y2 Q& o# c我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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/ E/ W# O" r" f/ C8 M- q A女：滚她妈犊子，滚…( y4 X* m8 |9 I) d' U. V
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当前离线
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