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1.局花
( D* b5 O! e" v$ E5 Q! ~' `5 T局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
& E1 u( v0 M) f7 G* J1 k心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
, f% n" F5 r7 c3 q' W小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
5 ~5 |" v8 ]4 f/ `评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
6 X6 o2 O7 y% @7 O% s
" B. o4 |. }7 P( m* C5 \2.媳妇
; k3 P1 U2 b7 K+ Z- U: z10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。0 @# P* v0 E0 a7 `8 ~/ u
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”) G& }( m9 J8 r
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
. f5 l7 ?- O2 O$ S" g+ u4 P5 u# }评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺0 M9 E9 a; H0 l
4 j# \. n+ M0 J8 u2 T0 M2 W3.倒贴
" ^7 u' F/ X; W+ O: t过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。% _: q1 b6 J4 [
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
/ }# \" {; N# r* m$ _. |/ u老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
/ e" r' J- v' g2 u) S' [老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
9 a/ `3 ], c7 m话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，1 Z* W& c/ {( b- p$ ]
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
% u$ k( N n$ D评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
% Z1 V R! f6 g3 e" K5 X& O8 r
% d0 K" Z" D% }3 J# t4.刺激+ F& d7 Y* Z y P+ g
今天我走在街上，
) k$ r, H9 y" m8 V. |对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺$ E; T" Q2 {5 n
，我心想完了。
' F, q$ _% A+ j8 k) y9 u- m过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
. Y- v& H# s$ X: q# `" E“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
9 y' ^4 X( o0 A S' k$ D6 _尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！ i/ P- i7 z" X' u" s/ | a) R
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激1 l6 K# c9 o4 o3 U# r$ p4 t
& f' r! o N. A, E5.不加倍
6 @+ P: g3 j5 U- p小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，" ~+ a; A& M# p a& B
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
. Z" ~* w" X. b1 q. T9 W: S: u老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？” b9 m1 I2 y+ X+ O0 b7 Z0 \
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
' N' r; n' N8 n. w. V2 C& }小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！” |- Q/ ~: A. _& |; C* o; t
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
7 v+ Y4 X6 f& C" ~ |
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