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1.局花
: V+ o5 I/ s( ?( Z4 _5 p% ^; @局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，- A* P0 ]* v8 n2 ]) V% X
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
, o9 _2 [/ E0 D& n( d7 q小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。6 v/ l" F# K& [- K, o* `
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么& E7 i' G! |3 k" d3 t! l
4 v) v. T+ c$ ~7 w4 ^* _2.媳妇* G' J1 G5 _7 q" ^! v4 t3 Z: k& E6 F
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。3 u3 ^8 H' ` b5 o- Y# [
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
9 C# E" Q- L6 t4 H' z8 A5 w谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”/ c' H: [- B! P8 Z5 \; y
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
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3.倒贴, Y4 M A/ X2 N
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。! B' U: q% C9 c' P( Q
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
3 V' p' ?0 k! }9 _3 F老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
, S; c0 z; W5 J: B6 g& e老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”7 c8 q+ x, [* w9 _( J) w6 G
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上， w( c2 ^3 a- P/ ~* W
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
0 R1 C9 O# |" T o% @ }8 ^$ w9 J评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
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, z4 M [9 u5 X1 U5 |" v8 {4.刺激) D. e9 _2 l. F0 f) ^4 {
今天我走在街上，
# ~6 a! B" t/ V1 V对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺9 S* F" H3 J$ c* B( N, j3 W! {
，我心想完了。 F8 u/ V7 l- D- ~* k
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。% O {+ j4 q! r
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。4 c$ l/ S3 V2 l$ a
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！! U* n- o/ c! T K0 a: h
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
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( m: }2 Z7 n3 J2 `6 s( V' t: O5.不加倍
6 V8 T& x' |3 b" Y小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，4 M; W& n9 f0 w3 Z& r5 h$ `
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。; h+ N1 G0 _9 F% ~( m2 f
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”: a9 L+ X8 i5 y, n7 w/ R+ X, G3 v( e* _
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
: E$ `" w) u& N* v& H: h* i小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！” e+ Z0 }2 |+ D" S
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的: a8 c6 f/ a+ F1 D1 e9 Z
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