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1.局花; F6 k& g0 @) o" ~8 ?7 E
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
* f( T. c& x0 T3 @* t; h4 P心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
/ ]! F+ X/ u* @4 b: \ O小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
. s" y3 i% Q9 O& v X$ i6 B评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
/ L. |1 L& n6 [+ V; ]& X/ P9 X( ~- P! w$ G& E4 D. x* |
2.媳妇9 ?/ [) I8 g" o: h& U1 Q% K+ f9 X# f+ `
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。( I* k0 G( Z1 G' B! X* U" D
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”( y. f' A: s4 H- ]7 h# J; s
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”+ |1 Y, Y+ e' _. G
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺2 n, N% {( V, T9 u: X/ G. b4 }
v5 a( Y3 P+ n" ^3 N- D3.倒贴' y: c! H6 `+ w3 Z& w
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
0 c7 c2 D. ]2 i# `于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。: u: c$ u" F% M5 S6 d$ s/ J: O
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”/ k6 Z( @1 j1 G
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”. v4 b3 A3 I0 l' s9 _
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
) e* H9 j: y4 k L& S“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
! ]6 ?6 `6 M+ C% j评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊" w, O8 O+ s3 c9 t9 E& Z6 B
9 `. H5 g% b' I( f% c8 }
4.刺激$ S" i4 U1 h2 ^5 j) F9 m9 B
今天我走在街上，
+ H9 ?# S' f8 X; B/ }: n, s对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺& q* ^8 G% G/ j- `0 a
，我心想完了。$ V1 b- i g5 A6 f" u" q$ [6 r
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。3 V' X( P4 B4 ], t
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。# G, S, W1 R/ h, o1 P
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！* D) ^/ K! Z9 T2 m1 A
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
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+ w1 T$ u& t' N9 k/ m& o' d5.不加倍1 |6 o) v( ?4 R! |
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
5 z! _0 d. r. m' d2 i; D今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。. u: |! w; }( Q: m/ n1 j
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”& h' Q1 J+ o) s- I( n/ z
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
1 u$ l4 d B( G+ ]小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”& N( B3 O. @$ G \/ K- l
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的1 }7 g- i" }' @. A
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