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1.局花
5 ?6 I3 S8 _+ {2 j8 {局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，( k6 c F0 U, @! W
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，- e8 h8 g0 q: { K/ J
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
3 J& u% D. s; Q8 B( B, S6 Q评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么6 T% I6 h/ q! a( z* s; C
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2.媳妇
% g/ @, u! T( M- ~8 r/ I10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
p$ L2 Y/ ~6 l8 ]! i8 I3 b6 |他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
7 I8 z& d, q4 ]9 j' @" t/ j9 y/ y2 [谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”$ D2 f* H5 k8 n, n4 U$ x! }
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
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6 B5 M0 r, a! I" o l3.倒贴
Y N( L) C. a$ y过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。4 b% V9 B: I, l2 P( x
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。& Z2 t: ^/ V) B/ Q# |
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
6 n' O$ w' q N) {+ Z老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”6 j% v! W: V# L" M7 c+ F9 n
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
6 D* D( w3 X y4 ^* h“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
' i" j$ G! n9 y6 F1 z评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊3 z, o5 p* `1 G+ v q5 v4 {
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4.刺激
( w! c4 p) `3 y7 n% _1 Y6 {今天我走在街上，! H0 l4 ]( b6 I* B
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺7 S( V: q. R& `1 K' }
，我心想完了。
! g% r4 Z3 O/ c5 p8 J) v过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。( x6 [# A1 A/ U
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。! S: Y: }( }$ T
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
% }; \: l+ o( K* Z% Q评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
3 o; p! D, L/ w, g* E4 ~8 w8 s+ Q9 w% [0 x
5.不加倍7 N; {! u: I+ H
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，1 u' U! e& w6 L& k4 u/ Q( W
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
% N' f: j. H# U" I" L3 N老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
m. b% J1 Z+ O* W小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”" A# X+ l2 E# g
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
2 T% M- [( _5 [5 `评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
9 \2 {# I) g, g' i3 m% s |
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