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1.局花) C8 e; f& \; j
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
# I0 r v0 g8 ^心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，$ O3 `& v. i/ g4 J: s
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
: t; B+ W+ [- a% L! {6 R% k评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
r8 f3 B" ~( p( a# ]* c$ j' W5 K! a5 k: C
2.媳妇6 e& g" U5 _# [( ~9 ^
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。/ g$ U5 @ h$ p O2 i6 _' X
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”5 S" {1 Z0 M' h$ t/ Y+ [
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
' Z/ x# V9 ^( s7 }6 i( C评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
9 M' n7 a+ ]8 a& P) j' t3 u8 s1 }' B; a) @7 b
3.倒贴+ n; k* u \& r( H+ ?
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
6 b+ X% B% w' Y$ h% {+ j$ ?于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。& V/ |, f; l+ w, M9 `
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
8 r2 S$ F2 @, t$ i H7 P8 w老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”8 Q+ s' W8 t6 j% X
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
, e1 ]4 I% f8 ]' U; v* F, r“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”- B: c- I' S. d$ P( T8 w9 o
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊) D. j! L# N9 p; n' r
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4.刺激
/ H9 _$ U8 N1 E' [4 q今天我走在街上，, k$ ^' D. T" u1 s: M# A
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺+ o4 F. R0 h/ ~7 w
，我心想完了。; p+ j" z. j) M8 n. `3 q
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
% b1 T) _8 L0 w- C+ Q6 l“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。: d x( u: h5 q# [( e$ Z+ L
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
. D9 X$ B+ P. u# E6 }) {# Q评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激1 V& t( o @2 D
7 m: Q5 e4 A1 k. Y, `! O% c5.不加倍- |3 h _1 E2 ]$ Q6 h' R8 i
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
, n2 s' }3 m3 w今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。% @9 W A) A% p+ b. P3 i
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
1 B( @8 J! e8 c7 {小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
2 w$ |4 @9 B) S* I t% f7 w小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
) p1 R7 [ _- c* c ?' ^评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的) [2 K' ~# d9 }4 {) A* ?
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