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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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/ s, `& F2 ~# c6 w& ?) y今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！" m. h5 W% E5 C4 e0 |
我先来！# { t9 e, t* F
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
& O- h) U9 K# ^# h% l; e同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”8 Y' A/ w1 V0 b) U! ?% L# W
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"6 ?; k: T0 E, I, X; I
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
: d* M" `: L: P+ e! l) X每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
$ w6 z9 r8 h5 {, R" W8 B' u; M, P弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
- y6 _- |7 T" p4 [所以非常受欢迎。
8 O6 D2 K$ q6 j* Y6 L3 C第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
( d2 P$ U3 m) A/ w# q问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
w6 ?$ j" S1 D2 _% N大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，, d, x# Z6 Z4 T8 A
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：4 Q+ T. e l9 S
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
" c" ?9 i9 r4 y0 z* {- b; q& r2 f& {! Q不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”- S2 S; m: {" v! l$ m
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪5 T: H9 g& ?; A( p& k
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。8 D7 S& ^4 a% { ~
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
+ x) e- R0 F/ Z" B- a小明：不行( E3 I% F7 M5 y Q! M
老师：為什麼？( `" g7 {/ P7 @! F) Z
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
5 C+ x: F* ]/ `( i8 F5 F( p0 E小明：我是照你的话做的
' t* g7 ?1 s: S1 f6 K9 E$ e/ Z: H妈妈：我说了什麼？: F' G" _( r3 i* m3 u y- Y
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，& c# C- i; f# O2 m& Q- b
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，5 t( w* H) ^% e
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？” Q* m/ `- M6 L0 h; w/ D' T! |6 D' n
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？1 C3 v; @+ Z) b6 U9 c2 b9 s: n
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？, x! z! F7 n I3 J, J- v
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
' Y" @+ Z" a) f& u9 N- a3 S7 Z/ n然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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