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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
8 [5 S) h" a# W, I. l0 }5 ?, }* d7 q
6 M& D9 W0 V% r9 ^. I) m# }3 }. Q9 G& U% ^
今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
2 v2 u) |% F7 t" p* n8 |我先来！
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* f- j. G/ b1 ^, ]9 H, z& z# UA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
6 F: n4 B" {( y8 A& x5 I7 r2 h5 u同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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: J Y1 `; ~+ Q0 {, B深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
8 I- A- E; J# n. ?- F8 ?- H每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”+ e [, P9 K( T8 M% u0 Q- E9 l
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
$ i7 y& D* x: F: m4 t所以非常受欢迎。
7 b. W8 X. r' H3 C6 q0 o# \第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
, h) i' K6 e( m问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
. _! v s- @9 j+ C' x W) a7 c大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，' X* c& e V! |
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
' Y1 v% D6 Z# l1 Y' O" s有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
% u7 v3 [" j$ }0 m不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
% B' ?3 c% B, y她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
5 C1 M" h a5 h8 e生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
. s0 _9 f C ~/ T" A于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
- I( r* x% O) {8 q' V2 m小明：不行
; M$ j. ^$ ?. P( F0 ^0 s+ e3 a老师：為什麼？
2 m% M; G8 H# \# ~" L& o& W小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分2 _+ X0 ^5 Q! k7 K) H! b# C
小明：我是照你的话做的
4 [' b$ C4 X6 I妈妈：我说了什麼？3 O2 K* d5 ?1 t' G7 }7 |2 A
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分， U0 h. y/ Z$ a$ j6 y) s
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，" p: D8 [) `# W0 f# C( S
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”8 S7 ^! G7 [7 p X2 f
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
$ P! A# W3 S& I8 J妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
$ Y& O% x- t4 @, U0 z1 d小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！- t' l2 X) I; N/ u' G; e8 B; G
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 1 L) s$ ?4 X, C1 t/ N& [
$ \5 j; q' T8 ]! d3 N7 j; @& `# p1 B2 j: }
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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